All right then, just for Kathy.

1. In less than a month’s time I shall be out of a situation that has been driving me to despair for the last couple of years or so. I shall be rectifying a mistake that I made even though I had serious doubts about it when I made the decision, and will finally be walking out on something that has been the main sign of a serious weakness. I shall be able to rekindle my social life, be in a position to have fun with my brother, be able to ride my old motorbike again, and be able to do lots of things that I remember enjoying as a young girl.
2. I have new lenses for my Mag M Frames arriving in less than two weeks.
3. I am currently free of the need to get another tattoo, which has been a weight of pressure I have experienced constantly for about ten years.
4. In one week’s time I shall never, ever, ever have to show my boss how to switch his computer on ever again.
5. The sun is shining. Today the light quality has the same shape and texture as the warmth that comes off hearthstones in the morning when the fire has been allowed to burn down overnight, and that is one of my favourite sensations in the whole world. This means that Spring is coming, because in Winter even high pressure zones have a much sharper, glassier, glossier light quality. Today I can practically feel the Vitamin D forming when I turn my face to the sky.
6. By the beginning of next week Shackleton will have some glorious new blue tyres.
7. Frood is poorly sick today, and had a temperature of 102° this morning. He has the same thing I had last week. This in and of itself is not good, but it does mean that I have an admirable excuse for leaving work early so that I can go home and tend to my darling dearest. So I shall shortly be departing the office and that’s enough to make anyone happy.

Over to you.

Speaking of LJ, there is apparently a ‘meme’ going around called ‘seven things that are pissing you off’. As far as I can gather, a meme on LJ is a quiz or a test that propagates from one journal to another. Not so much an idea in the classic sense of the word, but something to fill in that purportedly tells those reading your journal something about you.

Well, seven things that are pissing me off. Let’s see.

1. My boss. I leave a week tomorrow. He is really going to have to learn how to use his computer by himself. He is also going to have to stop giving me silly little things to do and asking me stupid questions about whether or not I’m going to get my desk clear in time. In fact, if he asks me that one more time I’m going to have to point out to him that my answer will be ‘no’ if he doesn’t shut up and let me get on with it.
2. Car drivers. Particularly car drivers who think they own the road. For some reason I’m having real trouble with people overtaking me while I’m signalling to turn right. If I get my hand smacked one more time I’m fitting chain mail and sandpaper.
3. The argument that “speed doesn’t kill”. You know, hands up, you’re right. Speed doesn’t kill. The speed of light is 299 792 458 ms^-1 and I get hit by shed loads of the stuff every day. I’m still breathing. With every passing hour our solar system comes forty-three thousand miles closer to globular cluster 13 in the constellation Hercules, and that doesn’t seem to be doing anyone any harm. In fact, I’d even go as far as to say that velocity doesn’t necessarily kill either. But the fact that speed in and of itself, all alone, doesn’t kill does NOT mean that we can blithely ignore speed limits and 90mph is safer than 50mph. OK? There’s a context here. That context being – stop me if you’ve heard this one before – the operation of a piece of heavy machinery in a public space.

   How many is that?

4. Me. I’m pissing me off by getting far too stressed and far too fretful about this whole moving to Scotland to be an EPO thing. Moving to Scotland is the right thing to do, I’m pretty sure. Moving is definitely the right thing to do, anyway. Moving from one Government quango to another, however, is possibly not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. Especially when part of the reason for making so much change is to try to integrate con and non-con rather better than it has been.
5. Me. Again. I’m not riding enough. I’m coming up with stupid excuses like needing to wait for those new Continental GP4000 tyres to come in for Shackleton. I think I’m just stressed and tired – see above.
6. The way that my Christmas present money from my Mum appears to have been eaten up by bills. And the bills themselves. I really need to sort out my saddle problems and soon, and that’s going to cost money that seems to be vanishing into the bill oubliette.
7. My boss. I’m in here twice so he should be too because he definitely pisses me off more than I piss myself off.

The League‘s Farewell to Auntie Samantha party has been pencilled in for the 25^th February, starting at the Double Locks. I’m not leaving the League – just England. I expect there will be drinking and bicycles involved, as it’s being organised by Hummers, gods bless him. See the thread in the Club for further details, which will be posted as and when they occur.

I like the bike that Shakespeare found.

I got back into Livejournal again over the last couple of days, mostly because my friends use it. I’m not a fan, myself. I find the management interface confusing and irritating, and I much prefer having my own website. I guess if you use blogspot or something like that then there’s not a lot to choose from between the two. Anyway. If you go to my LJ page all you’ll find is a post sending you here. Just mind you don’t get caught in a recursive loop or something equally Teen Titans.

LJ’s huge advantage over blogger and other forms of ad hoc publishing tool is the friends function. Because all LJs are on their system, they can provide an option of presenting all your friends’ journal entries on the one page. So that’s mainly why I have an account – a number of my friends have gone for LJ rather than a blog. Also makes it easier to post comments. And I get to read filtered posts.

The filtering is the other big advantage. I have two blogs on this site: this one and Impressions. Impressions is much more a Livejournal style blog – it is more thoughts and musings, not the link-driven ranting that this blog tends to be. It was where I tended to post the stuff about the weirder side of life.

It hasn’t been updated in quite some time, and the last few entries are rather banal. One might be forgiven for taking this to mean that weird stuff doesn’t happen any more. Au contraire – stuff is weirder than ever. In fact, it’s too weird to publish.

Now if I were posting that stuff on LJ then I could make it private, so that only friends could read it. Can’t do that with a blog. And, you know, I’m not sure that this is such a bad thing. The big problem with that sort of diary writing is that it encourages a degree of introspection and self-obsession that I’m not sure is necessarily always healthy or appropriate. At least not in me. So I don’t think I’m going to be using my LJ account for that.

But I think maybe I should post some more to Impressions. Just… not right now.

Oakley US have spare lenses for my wuvly Mag M Frames for sale. I can’t order from Oakley US because, being in the UK (which is a bit like being an owl), I have a UK billing address.

Rubens Menswear is the premier UK Oakley dealer. They used to do spare lenses. They don’t any more. Mag M Frames have been discontinued, you see.

Oakley UK customer services (01462 475 475 ) say they have no spare lenses. The model has been discontinued.

“Yes,” say I. “I know. In March last year. But the lenses are still available on the US website. Only I can’t order them. Being in the UK, I have a UK billing address.”

Oakley UK give me the number for Rubens Menswear. Apparently what I have to do is talk to them and get them to order the lenses from – wait for it – Oakley UK Customer Services, who will then order them in from the US.

Rubens Menswear are very good. In about 2 weeks time I will have the full complement of lenses that I want for my two pairs of Mag M Frames. Kudos to them for understanding my frustration.

But can someone please explain to me why it has to be so complicated?

Sheddy, one of the regulars over on C+, has pointed out the FMG campaign. First of me seeing it, although it has been running in previous years around Valentine’s Day.

Some of the other pages on the site have some good information too, like this one:

Holding a driving licence is a privilege, not a right. Driving safely within the law is the key to a long and points free driving licence. However, it is easy to accumulate points if you drive in a dangerous manner or commit road traffic offences. The chart below shows some typical offences and the penalties that you can expect to receive if prosecuted.

Sure enough, there is a chart.

One of the on-thread comments is that this is a bit sexist – the girl might be driving. The site does point out that women are more likely to be involved in fatal crashes as a passenger rather than a driver.

Which means only 9 working days.

People keep asking me if I’m:

1. Excited;
2. Relieved;
3. Demob happy; and
4. Whether it has sunk in yet.

The answer to all of these is quite simple: I’m having kittens. Not in the sense that I’ve turned into a mad cat lady and am buying three of them to replace Scrogs (which is what Sharon next door does when one of her thousands of cats gets run over): in the sense that there are a million and one things to do and because my sense of time is a bit screwy, I know that every day I have less time to do them and I don’t even know where to start.

Last night Frood did the bathroom ceiling, which had been mouldy and grubby owing to the previous occupant’s strange decision to put wallpaper on it. The house now has this smell that sends me straight back to my childhood, when we spent the summers doing boat repair. That always involved scraping paint and sanding. It’s a distinctive scent that I’d completely forgotten, sort of layered and flat like a Wall’s Viennetta. And Frood looks kind of cute all covered in paint dust.

Today Pingu, who works for my new employers, tells me he has seen my name on the company email address book. I already have a mailbox there. Now that, for some reason, is freaking me out. Here I am, supposed to be getting Charlton Musgrove finished (after 4 years of wrangling) and Chard out the door, and leaving the Groundwater reviews in a fit state for some other muggins to take over, and suddenly I’m just floored by the thought that this is actually happening.

I’ve sent out the invite for the farewell lunch. I’ve asked our Events Officer (Hummers) to arrange a goodbye to Englandshire party (although I think I’m going to have to sort that out myself). We’ve had the estate agent around to value the house. I’ve realised that I never have to change my password on this machine again, and if I’m stingy I probably won’t have to buy another packet of coffee for work here before I leave.

And I’m still not entirely 100% convinced that I’m doing the right thing. Because I know that really I want to do something that makes my non-con life mesh more with my consensus life, and given that the job I do for the Old Man is messenger, the whole cycle courier thing is more than just an idle whim. I was at a wedding a week ago and the brother of the bride told me I was too old to be a cycle courier. If I go off and do this job then I’ll have spent another couple of years at least not giving it a go. I’ll be even older.

Those of you who have known me for a long time, long enough to have known me during my previous life, might have some idea how odd and incomprehensible this sensation of growing old is to me. I didn’t expect ever to feel this because I didn’t expect to last long enough. Funny how a new job, a fresh start and a new beginning can actually make me feel decrepit and aged and past it.

Scientists have discovered a previously unexplored region of Papua New Guinea. Hard to believe that this can still happen in the days of Google Earth and satellites that can see whether your roots need doing. Some of the pictures are great.

The most important achievements are listed at the BBC as:

• A new species of honeyeater, the first new bird species discovered on the island of New Guinea since 1939
• The formerly unknown breeding grounds of a “lost” bird of paradise – the six-wired bird of paradise (Parotia berlepschi)
• First photographs of the golden-fronted bowerbird displaying at its bower.
• A new large mammal for Indonesia, the golden-mantled tree kangaroo (Dendrolagus pulcherrimus)
• More than 20 new species of frogs, including a tiny microhylid frog less than 14mm long
• A series of previously undescribed plant species, including five new species of palms
• A remarkable white-flowered rhododendron with flower about 15cm across
• Four new butterfly species

Excited as I am by this, I can’t help think that it would have been better for this lost world if they had left it alone. The problem with humans is, once they’ve found something, there will always be someone willing and able to exploit it.

Not that I’m complaining about the conviction, particularly, but how come Abu Hamza al-Masri is convicted but Nick Griffin needs a retrial? I thought it was pretty unequivocal in both cases.

Anyway. Still reckon the best thing to do is to lock the pair of them in the Big Brother house along with George Galloway and the Pope.