Look what Munky got me!

A new avatar!

I’m so happy!

This is fab.

I need more of this in my life.

I just want to say that impacted saddle sores suck like a Dyson.

Actually, Dysons are over-rated. Saddle sores suck like a Sidewinder.

I used to have a Sidewinder belt buckle, when I was a little girl.

Don’t ask.

Snaffled from Sciolist:

Instructions: Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 and look through random quotations until you find 5 that you think reflect who you are or what you believe. Then post them in your journal.

1. Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

   Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970)

2. People who have no faults are terrible; there is no way to take advantage of them.
   Anatole France (1844 – 1924)
3. You can go a long way with bad legs and a good head.
   Gavin McDonald, Scottish Bicyclist, 04-15-2006
4. Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
   Albert Einstein (1879 – 1955)
5. We’d be fools not to ride this strange torpedo to the end.

   Hunter S. Thompson (1939 – 2005), Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Can anyone give me any hints on doing that rolling turn swimming thing that racing-types do? I was having a go yesterday and wasn’t overly successful.

Frood and I went to see The Bees last night at The Reading Rooms in Dundee. The last gig we went to was Electric 6 at The Lemon Grove in Exeter so I was very excited.

Well, Frood has been to see Mika Bomb since then but I was a bit poorly that evening.

THE BEES AM FAB!

It was a very small venue — it felt about half the size of the Lemon Grove. The crowd was unreasonably staid, in the main, with many of the audience looking like they were hardly enjoying themselves at all, although that might just be the natural demeanour of Dundonians. At one point I came very close to telling the two blokes in front of me to shift out of my way and go to the back if they didn’t want to dance. I only didn’t because L from work had already given them a row for dropping a beer can on the floor, and had shoved it down the back of bloke on the right’s pants when he refused to pick it up. We don’t think he noticed.

The set was great. Every single track it seemed that the entire band changed positions. Get to the end, all change. I wonder if they ever argue over who gets to play the maracas. Everyone got a shot of everything except the Hammond Organ player and the guitarist, presumably either because they can’t play anything else or no one else can play their instruments the way they do.

They opened with Wash In The Rain, and I was delighted to find that they are even better live than I hoped, and their distinctive style is even more apparent on stage. Gordon admitted he had serious cowboy hat envy before that track had finished. They let us hear some of the new material, which was just a tease as their new album, Octopus, isn’t released until January. As people were busy whooping and hollering, and L was chattering in my ear between tracks I didn’t get to hear what any of the new ones are called, but the slide guitar sound on one of the new tracks was the sort you can feel vibrating through your sternum. Unfortunately most of the audience seemed to be there to hear Chicken Payback, screaming for it after each track, to the point where L said she’d have just played the damn thing at the start and told everyone to fuck off if they weren’t interested in hearing the rest of their music. We all knew they’d keep it until last, or even the encore. Which is what they did.

The surprise moment was the live version of the instrumental track The Russian, from Free The Bees. Absolutely stonking. Well worth the price of entry alone, even with the extorionate ‘convenience charge’ levied by Ticketmaster.

The Bees are currently on their Highlands and Islands tour and will be playing some more venues across Scotland — see the website for details. Catch them if you can.

I bought jeans.

I’m a size 8 [ObUS: 6]. Possibly smaller.

If I buy swimsuits (which do not have to take into account my enormous piston thighs) I’m a 32 European, which is about a 4 in UK sizes. Apart from my boobs.

I’m having issues with my sexy Maru mesh panel 3/4 swimsuit. I keep having near-moments of boob escapage.

This does not seem reasonable. I swear I’m no smaller than I was before. I am pretty damn positive I was at my smallest at uni – and I was a size 12 at uni. It’s not like I’m getting as much exercise as I used to.

Although I’m now up to 1250m in my 30min swim at lunchtimes. Today was the 2nd day in a row I managed that so I can peg that as sustainable now. Anyone know what a reasonable goal is? Is 1500m in 30mins over-ambitious or under-ambitious?

By the way. Boss? It’s lunchtime.

I got inducted today.

I spent an hour on the cardio machines, sweat dripping.

Then nice lady instructor took me through the weights and signed off on my induction sheet, evidently recognising a fellow gym bunny because you’re really supposed to have three induction sessions.

I felt better.

They have this utterly fab crunch machine that wouldn’t be out of place in a dungeon.

Now I just have to avoid the impulse to attempt to become totally ripped cos that just ain’t gonna happen.

I like beer too much.

I just ordered me some boots.

Incidentally, if you’re one of those who likes to read the weirder material as well, please to note that it has become apparent that my new boss is checking up on me by monitoring my website. So the really odd, faintly disturbing material that might worry my employers even if it is written to appear to be obviously fiction will now be posted elsewhere, probably behind a cut.

I am not going to specify where that elsewhere is for obvious reasons, but if you can’t work it out and would like to know, drop me a line at the usual address.