• It’s so Easy – Hawkwind
• Pompeii Am Gotterdammerung – The Flaming Lips
• Dead Souls – Nine Inch Nails
• Don’t Get Lost In Heaven – Gorillaz
• Strangers – Portishead
• Roads – Portishead
• 2:1 – Elastica
• The Order of Death – Public Image Ltd
• Converting Vegetarians – Infected Mushroom
• Stabat Mater – Rossini
• Page One – Lemonjelly
• Angel – Massive Attack
• Teardrop – Massive Attack
• Road Trip – Steriogram
• Mosquito Song – Queens of the Stone Age
• Burn – The Cure
• Good Morning – The Dandy Warhols
• Terminal Annex – Harvey Danger
• Damager 02, Access, Cowgirl, Prayer for God – Scott Mac, DJ Misjah & DJ Tim, Underworld, Darren Tate

I so want one. I want one now. Now. NOW DAMMIT! Where can I buy one? Dammit all to hell, why can’t I find a shop selling one?

This one courtesy of Frood.

• Shatter – Feeder
• Love Is The New Feel Awful – The Dandy Warhols
• Everyone Is Totally Insane – The Dandy Warhols
• Bohemian Like You – The Dandy Warhols
• The Lost Art of Keeping A Secret – Queens Of The Stone Age
• Times Like These – Foo Fighters
• Laura – Scissor Sisters
• Evil Twin – Alienbreed
• Dirge – Death In Vegas
• The Private Psychedelic Reel – The Chemical Brothers
• Lesson No. 1 – Viva Voce
• The Pageant of the Bizarre – Zero 7
• Sad Sweetheart Of The Rodeo – Harvey Danger
• Why I’m Lonely – Harvey Danger
• Stripsearch – Faith No More

You have any of those? The ones you listen to when everything is going to shit and you’re not sure you can cope and somehow just the sound of it gives you that extra millimetre of fingernail to use to cling on to whatever sorry fucking handhold you’ve managed to find? The ones you can put on repeat without getting bored of it because somehow, somehow it’s suddenly like wearing a safety harness and discovering a belay and just for those few minutes you feel, if not that you can climb back up, that at least you can take a breather and you’re not going to fall right there and then?

Right now this is mine.

Everyone Is Totally Insane – The Dandy Warhols
Odditorium or Warlords Of Mars (2005)

Hear me out, for I was joyful once
Like everyone
Hear me out, I must have changed
Sometime and all at once
Cos it seems
That nothing stays the same as certainly as me
And nothing stays the same but me

Well I have toiled and I have tamed
Constricted and constrained
Just to learn about how everyone is sane
When I am old and I am lame
And ruthlessly estranged
Ask me then what I have gained from almost everyone, oh-oh

Hear me out, for I have everything indeed
Hear me out, I must have changed

Well I have toiled and I have tamed
Constricted and constrained
Just to learn about how everyone is totally insane, now
When I am old and I am lame
And ruthlessly estranged
Ask me then what I have gained from almost everyone, oh-oh

Hear me out, for I was joyful once
Like everyone
Hear me out, I must have changed

Munky got me another new avatar.

He’s so good to me that way.

One day, Munky, I shall be able to tell you why I freaked. Probably around about the same time I’m allowed back on RP.

Send positive vibes and good thoughts to Frood, who has a job interview starting in 10 minutes.

He LOVES cheese and he really needs a job. He’d make a great cheesemonger and you should have seen his face when he was telling me about it yesterday. He was so excited.

Please, universe, give us a break.

Well, I have the boots.

You scored as Lara Croft. A thrill-seeking, slightly unscrupulous, tough-as-nails archaeologist, Lara Croft travels the world in search of ancient relics perhaps better left hidden. She packs two Colt .45s and has no fear of jumping off buildings, exploring creepy tombs, or taking on evil meglomaniacs bent on world domination. Lara Croft 83% Indiana Jones 79% Batman, the Dark Knight 67% Maximus 63% The Terminator 58% Neo, the "One" 54% El Zorro 50% James Bond, Agent 007 46% Captain Jack Sparrow 46% William Wallace 33% The Amazing Spider-Man 29%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

I want a new HRM that I can wear occasionally in the pool, just for progress monitoring.

I don’t want one of these fancy things that can talk to the Space Shuttle and make tea in the morning. I don’t need one that can hold a philosophical discussion with my CatEye OS1.0 on the objective viewpoint as espoused by Kant, although I’m sure Fingal would be delighted if I bought one that could. What I want is the following:

• Average HR
• Max and Min HR
• Time above/below/in training zone
• Calorie expenditure
• Stopwatch that can be stopped and restarted without losing data
• Water resistant strap and watch
• Preferably coded transmitter
• Alarm clock
• 24 hour clock clock
• Backlight
• Recovery countdown
• Lap timer
• A memory that can retain all training data after I hit stop.

I’m currently using a Tchibo one which does all of the above except for the stopping/restarting and it also has the absolutely infuriating habit of not retaining the stopwatch time after you press “stop”. It was, however, about 12 quid so I won’t hear a bad word against it.

I have a budget of £80 – £120 maximum, so don’t suggest the Polar S670si turbo KITT 2000 or anything like that. I can’t afford to spend a couple of hundred mackerel on an HRM, and I don’t care if it has a foot pod with a flashy red light on it. Maybe one day when I’m rich but not now.

1500m in 35 minutes.

OK, so it’s not triathlete territory, but given that 3 months ago I was doing 25 lengths in 25 minutes I’m quite pleased.

It makes my current working goal of 1500m in 30 minutes seem attainable, at least.