An advert comes on the telly offering a subscription service for people who can’t work their technology. It has a guy pretending to be Mick Jagger and some wifey and they are both complaining about not being able to work their DVD player. Frood’s response:

“Give us some money because you’re stupid. We are a subscription service for stupid people. ‘I can’t get out of my flat. Please help!’ Well, see that round knob in front of you? Turn it anticlockwise. ‘Help! My toilet is full of poo!’ See that lever there? Press it down and the poo will go away.”

Thanks to Munky for pointing me in the vague direction of this.

It’s only 32 seconds. And I expect it’s doing the rounds. But the look on that polar bear’s face when the little girl wearing a hat in the shape of a seal peeks round the pillar at him is worth the price of entry.

We’ve got a stuffed seal who looks like that. He’s called Stick The Kettle On. He’s a lot smaller and is missing a flipper cos one of our hamsters et it. Hamster’s dead now. Not as a result of that, I might add. Considering that hamsters aren’t the natural predators of seals, those stuffed seals must look pretty tasty. Polar bears do eat seals, however. He probably thought someone had brought him lunch to give him a break from the mindless routine of incarceration.

That’s a bigger bear than we’ve managed to roll up in the Katamari cowbear challenge. Even so, I think the little girl’s reaction is a tad over the top. There’s plate glass in the way, you silly moo! Must have been for telly.

The vortex tube.

I have no use for one. No reason to have one. But WANT! It’s just so cool!

Say kids, engineering can be fun. Pump in compressed air and you get cold air from one side and hot air from the other. Just from air! And engineering!

Shackleton seems to have got it into his little head that I like having chunks taken out of my fingers.

I haven’t tightened his chain or sorted that front wheel alignment yet. I’m not sure I can afford to lose any more skin.

Still. At least he’s clean. Ish.

Who stopped to see if I needed help when I was fixing my loose chain on the way into East Wemyss this afternoon: thank you for stopping. I really was quite all right. Even though I am a girl, I know to carry the requisite tools for making minor repairs and I know how to use them.

I has Surly wrench!

Just as well I ride prepared for such things, really, or the valve failure I had 10 miles later would have been a bitch.

I shall kindly assume that your bogglement on seeing it was a fixed gear had nothing to do with the fact that I’m a girl, because everyone knows girls fix too, right? Besides, I’m fed up with that particular conversation. I’d have caught your ass too, if it weren’t for the traffic lights on the roadworks on the other side of town. The light turned red just as your bright yellow jacket was sailing up the rise into Buckhaven.

I love the way cyclists stop to see if you need a hand. It’s so sweet. It makes the world seem a nicer place.

But that’s okay.

There is and will be HAGGIS.

With mashed sweet potatoes (because tatties plus haggis is very non-Hay’s) and my new-food garlic and chilli roasted squash.

You’d love that, Munky (LJ feed people will see an additional link for Munky here, the rest of you won’t: ).

My beloved Timbuk2 El Ocho is currently on curtains cycle in the wash, even though I said I’d never wash it after it became stained with my blood when I came off and put a hole in my elbow the size of Belgium.

Why?

Because an orange SIS gel pack burst inside, that’s why. I now have to replace our copy of Lord of Light and my little blue notebook where I keep my dream logs is all stuck together.

That is teh nasteh.

A birthday message:

Sam,

Wishing you a Wonderful Birthday!

From your friends at Care2.com.

“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.”

~ Denis Waitley ~

A smile is the WHAT?

Blech! Do I look like I have a caring sharing, person inside? When did I eat him? Because I’m sure we had steak for tea last night and when I last asked Frood what I was full of he said I was full of soup.

“We need a laundry katamari. Then it can roll up all the hippy laundry. All your socks and tops and pants. And we can get a story katamari so it can roll up all your story and then we’ll be tidy.”

Does anyone else think that the King in We Love Katamari looks like Bruce Campbell?

Or is it just me?