And the build up has started for the new X-Men movie. I can’t wait!

Training with a lupus flare.

It’s just not going to happen.

No matter how glorious the weather and how much I want to take Peregrine out again.

Not helped by falling while polishing the car roof yesterday and landing on top of the open door (I was standing on the door sill to reach the middle of the roof). Nasty friction burn/graze and bruising down my left side.

Chiz chiz.

Still, after yesterday’s early morning sprint on Blackbird down to the opticians, I can report that I don’t have any sign of detached retina. Huzzah. Did have to wear dark glasses for the rest of the day, though. Amazing how silly you can feel wearing black iridium Mag M Frames in the house.

The clocks having gone forwards, the roads being dry and his computer having arrived in the post yesterday, last night I took Peregrine out for a spin. Just a quick 20 miles (well, 35km) after work.

I’ve mostly been riding Shackleton pretty much since I got him. The others haven’t had much of a look-in, much to Fingal‘s disgust. Shackleton is a great bike to ride. He’s fantastic fun and I think I’m finally getting the fixie zen thing. Peregrine doesn’t get out during the winter weather, for he am too precious, precious.

This means that when he does get out it’s even more enjoyable.

I keep forgetting just how much fun that bike is to ride. He’s swift, responsive, goes like stink and every single ounce of power I put through those cranks is translated into forward momentum. The stiffness of the frame makes for an incredibly harsh ride — this is not a bike I would recommend for long, lazy mile-eating — but it’s a fierce pleasure nevertheless.

It would be sensible to contemplate selling a bike that has only done 450km in the last 2½ years, but there is no way I am selling something that plasters my face with a grin so big it counts as a front reflector.

It is a little known thing that I have a fondness for perfume.

It’s the synaesthesia, I think. I’m very picky about perfume. I’m very picky about aftershave on a man. A man whose scent is laced with shredded browns and bronzes, all ambers and cedarwood and with that rich, dusky texture like really good quality chocolate — that man has the power to make me swoon. It’s the shape of it.

Myself, I have a fondness for Guerlain’s Mitsouko, which is one of the so-called ‘dark’ perfumes, like Donna Karan’s Chaos. It matches my natural scent well, although it’s a bit heady for daytime use. It has subtle undertones of rotting carrion and wet steel, rounded off by a subtly floral concoction underpinned by a hint of Vetiver.

If I wear a perfume during the day (rarely) it has been Davidoff’s Cool Water for Woman, but I’m after something different.

I know what I want, but can I find it? No. I know what shape I want, and what smell I want. But what I’ve discovered is that perfume departments do not include fragrance notes the way wine shops include tasting notes. So one is faced with a vast array of designer fragrance bottles with no way to tell what’s inside. And, personally at least, one can only sniff about 3 or 4 fragrances before it becomes impossible to get a good idea about what one is smelling. Not only that but a scent changes on the skin, so really one should try it on the skin.

Basically what I want is something as grown-up as the Mitsouko, but with a much more mineral, metallic scent. Sharper, flatter and more subtle. Something that has an almost subconscious effect unless the person smelling it is right up close.

Any suggestions? All the ones I tried yesterday lost their top notes very quickly and became too sweet and floral, although the initial hit of the Escada I tried wasn’t desperately far off. And the new summer Cool Water (not Game, the other one) is just about there but has too much citrus in it. I don’t want fruity. I hate fruity.

So, my particular method of getting used to something is generally just to keep at it, like every day, until my body realises it’s not getting out of it and gives in. This is how I did it with cycling. This is pretty much how I did it with exercise of all sorts before. Just throw myself into it and get used to it.

So is this a good idea with running or would it be utter madness? Is running 2 miles every day just stupid?

I should say at least two miles. This is my latest route, at about 3 miles (the Google pedometer reads short because it can’t take all the bends and wobbles into account). I did the usual route last night because it was getting dark (down to 20 minutes on that, though). I’m planning on working up to about 6 miles two or three times a week. My overall goal is to be down to one full rest day a week — but that’s to be a complete rest day.

I am hungry.

I have made one of my frequent and generally fruitless decisions to shift a few percent of excess body fat (Ben shakes his head and rolls his eyes sadly). This usually results in some boob shrinkage and not much else. I can’t seem to get that lean, muscular look that I crave. Not anorexic — I don’t want to look like Angelina Jolie in her current stick-thin state — just lean. I have a lot of muscle. I’d rather it wasn’t hidden under a thick layer of subcutaneous fat, no matter if that’s a very practical solution to the colder weather.

So I’ve had salad for lunch. Today and yesterday. I have had one digestive biscuit today instead of three. I have cut right back on the beer (waaaaaah!) and, while I’m not getting in the daily commute, I am running and cycling in the evenings and at weekends, and I’ve just managed to get hold of the timetable for the Fife Sports Institute. I shall be joining the gym.

But I’m hungry. And that’s making me cranky.

The Rules:
1. You can only say YES or NO.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments on the entry and asks.

Have you ever…

Taken a picture naked?
– Yes

Made out with a member of the same sex?
– Yes

Danced in front of your mirror?
– Yes

Told a lie?
– Yes

Gotten in a car with people you just met?
– Yes

Been in a fist fight?
– Yes

Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?
– Yes

Been arrested?
– No

Left your house without telling your parents?
– Yes

Ditched school to do something more fun?
– Yes

Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?
– Yes

Seen someone die?
– Yes

Kissed a picture?
– No

Slept in until 3?
– Yes

Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
– Yes

Played dress up?
– Yes

Fallen asleep at work/school?
– Yes

Felt an earthquake?
– Yes

Touched a snake?
– Yes

Ran a red light?
– No

Had detention?
– Yes

Been in a car accident?
– Yes

Pole danced?
– No

Been lost?
– Yes

Sang karaoke?
– No

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
– Yes

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?
– Yes

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
– Yes

Kissed in the rain?
– Yes

Sang in the shower?
– Yes

Got your tongue stuck to a pole?
– No

Gone to school partially naked?
– No

Sat on a roof top?
– Yes

Played chicken?
– Yes

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
– Yes

Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?
– Yes

Broken a bone?
– Yes

Mooned/flashed someone?
– Yes

Forgotten someone’s name?
– Yes

Slept naked?
– Yes

Blacked out from drinking?
– Yes

Played a prank on someone?
– Yes

Felt like killing someone?
– Yes

Made a parent cry?
– No

Cried over someone?
– Yes

Had sex more than 5 times in one day?
– Yes

Had/Have a dog?
– No

Been in a band?
– Yes

Drank 25 sodas in a day?
– No

Shot a gun?
– Yes

Just as we did down south, the office here has visiting book clubs. So, apparently randomly, you’ll come in and there’ll be a box full of cookery books and starter yoga kits and plush teddy bear backpacks and books You Will Not Find In The Shops, all at knock-down prices. I bought a Sophie Grigson cookbook a couple of weeks ago. Occasionally you will find something worth shelling out a few quid for.

Today I found, in the latest box, a copy of God and me – 365 daily devotions. Apparently it was the Children’s Book of the year 2005, although the sticker doesn’t specify who voted for it.

The book is aimed at 3+ year olds, according to the back. I don’t have anything in particular against Christianity as opposed to any other dogmatic religion (i.e. I hate dogma of any form), and if parents want to introduce their kids to their faith that’s fair enough.

But this is hilarious as well as mildly disturbing. Some examples:

January 6 – Dear God, I’m sorry for the naughty things I’ve done today. Thank you for forgiving me. You’re great! Amen.
God welcomes us and forgives us just like the father in Jesus’ story. Read Luke 15:11-24

January 11 – Hair is a wonderful thing, God! Thank you for my hair. Amen.
The woman in today’s story uses her hair as a towel! Read John 12:1-8

January 21Thank you, God, for inviting me to your party in heaven. I really want to come! Amen.
There will be lots of people at God’s party. Where will they all come from? Read Luke 13: 29-30 to find out.

April 27 – Dear God, help me to listen carefully to you and think hard about what you want me to do every day. Amen.
The two women in today’s story are both busy. Which one is busy listening to Jesus? Read Luke 10:38-42

August 12 – Wow! You are awesome, Lord God! I am glad that you are in control of the world. Amen.
God knows all about the world he has made. See Job 38:16-41

November 4 – Dear Jesus, thank you for the Bible that tells us what you want us to do. Please help me to do what you say. Amen.
Jesus tells a story about building. You can find it in Luke 6:46-49

I think it’s safe to say that we’re not talking about the Gnostic tradition here.

I don’t know about you, but I find this degree of indoctrination faintly alarming. It’s one thing to explain to children of that age what your beliefs are, but this is more than that. This is like brainwashing. There are devotionals in there about asking God for help turning off the TV if there’s a scary programme on, or asking God for help in remembering to wash your hands.

Is this normal? Or is this another American-style Neo-Con Christian Fundamentalist tentacle worming its way into the generally secular British culture?

I think we need daily devotionals of the sort I would want if I were in charge:

January 1 – Dear Auntie Sam, how I wish I hadn’t had quite so much to drink while celebrating last night. Please help me get rid of this hangover.
Auntie Sam says that if you are going to drink so much at Hogmanay, you should expect to feel poorly sick in the morning.

February 2 – Hair is a wonderful thing, Auntie Sam! But it gets in the way!
Auntie Sam says that clippers are the way to go.

March 21Thank you, Auntie Sam, for inviting me to your party. I really want to come!
Auntie Sam says: fab. Bring booze.

May – Dear Auntie Sam, help me to understand how scary it is that most people are fuckspuds with so few braincells an ant could get lost inside their heads, and most of them have driving licences.
Auntie Sam says: try riding a bicycle round a major conurbation in the rush hour.

August 12 – Wow! You are fantastic, Auntie Sam! I am glad that you are in control of the world.
I always said I’d make a great job of it, although I really can’t be arsed. I’m just pretending to control the world, but don’t tell anyone.

November 4 – Dear Frood, please help me to understand on those odd occasions when I really don’t get what Auntie Sam is telling me no matter how hard she tries to explain because after a while she gets really grumpy and that’s not nice.
Frood tells a story about ants. See here

There. That’s much better.

Was out at a complaint site first thing this morning. This meant that my drive to work involved coming down the back of Largo Law, on the St Andrews road. It was a bright, sunny morning, blowing a hooey, and the sea out on the Firth of Forth was whipped into a froth of white horses that stampeded across Largo Bay like Ginger Baker chopping up the beat on Dizzy Gears. So first I get to wander about in some woods taking pictures and seeing deer and a whole family of quail, then I get to look out to sea across a view that is simply breathtaking, knowing that, come the warmer weather, I’ll be snorkelling out there and maybe diving too.

Sure does beat sitting behind a desk drafting yet another discharge consent for some poxy CSO that no one cares about.

With me being on the coast, presumably Tall Bike Tour Britain will be passing through at some point. I shall have to drop them a note and say I’ll join them for a while, even they will be towering over my head. I see they’ve been in touch with the first second third secret love of my life (the first secret love of my life being either Gunner or Macleach, and the second being either Macleach or Gunner), Roger the Hilldoger. Well. If you’re going to get involved in a silly project like that, who else are you going to call?

Oh, and this is about the level of seriousness with which we are taking the threat of bird flu round here:

The bastards! Not content with taking my hard-earned cash in exchange for cycling and running goods, those arch-fiends Wiggle have just introduced a hike section. And given me a £5 voucher to spend should I find 25 ailing molluscs worth of stuff to purchase.

I’ve just thrown out Frood‘s old camping mattress on the basis that he should have a Therm-a-rest, and Dad has been talking about doing Snowdon and Ben Nevis and Scafell Pike.

Oh look. My nemesis. A dedicated injury section. I could spend some money there.