Correct me if I’m wrong, cycling peeps, but the Truvativ cranks that are supplied with old skool Il Pompinos are unlikely to fall off all by themselves, right? I mean, the bolt cap screws on with an 8mm hex key and then the crank bolt itself is screwed in pretty damn tight, again with an 8mm hex key.

So why was it that I just found myself pedalling along Lower Granton Road on one leg, while the other one flailed about in a surprised manner with the entire crank attached to my foot by the cleat?

It’s a good job some kindly soul at the bus stop spotted the crank bolt come loose and drop out just before I came to a stop and was able to point it out to me, or else I’d be walking home probably in need of a new transmission because I’ll bet you can’t get spare crank bolts. Also I had a multitool, which is odd in itself, because usually I don’t bother for the trip down to the gym and back on the basis that it’s not that far. Today something made me take my toolkit.

Explains why the bike felt a bit odd on the way down there. Thing is, the only time anyone could have had a chance to loosen that bolt was when it was parked outside Calum and Puzzle_‘s place weekend before last. So, Chronicles fans, the pointy things with the teeth left my computer and lights where Calum could find ’em for me but the bastards undid my nearside crank bolt.

I’ve got minions for this sort of thing, you know.

Can anyone tell me where to get a Truvativ Elita crank cap?

• 12:07 Still too rough to go out and do inspections. Now my head is itchy and I can’t touch it because it still hurts too much. #
• 12:07 This means I’m stuck in the office answering the phone. There’s a reason I’m so misanthropic. #
• 12:17 If I weren’t a hot chick with superpowers I might be forced to immolate myself just to escape the fuckheadedness of everything. #
• 12:18 No one thanks you for saving the world, you know. Especially not during the "Credit Crunch". #
• 13:31 @andygates Why sir, you are welcome, but it’s a different set of muggins saving the world down there in the humid south. #
• 13:43 "I don’t understand why a fluorescent tube becomes waste just cos it’s no workin’ any more." Well it doesn’t magically turn into a dildo! #
• 16:17 Person at work: "I don’t understand how these colds get around." Because the common cold is an infectious disease, perhaps? #

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• 13:25 Was hoping to be up to swimming today but apparently not. Bah. #

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• 13:57 Grateful the water has come back on but I do wish my head would stop hurting. Weird dreams last night. Even for me. #
• 19:17 Yay! CityCycling is out! tinyurl.com/479glx #

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Today I am having a lazy, sniffly day at home. I have plenty of annual leave, which must be used by the end of the year, a head injury and now a head cold. While I’m certainly not too sick to go to work, I’m far too sick to have any motivation for going to work, so I took the day off.

Having got up late despite going to bed early (thus proving that this was a good idea because as well as sleeping lots I’m constantly ravenous, indicating full-on recovery is going on) I pottered around for a while and then realised I didn’t have my eye in my face. Found it on the bedside table, which is remarkably organised for me. Usually when I take it out in my sleep I shove it somewhere stupid like inside the pillow case for safety and then I spend twenty minutes fretting the next morning because I can’t find it and might have accidentally eaten it. I have no idea what my body gets up to while I’m dreaming. Do you know what yours does? Have you ever thought about it? Maybe you should.

I went to the bathroom, soaped my hands, soaped my eye and then turned the tap back on to rinse only for nothing to come out.

Buh?

I found half a glass of water by the side of the bed, which meant I could complete the process of rendering my eye soap-free and thus not a stinging mass of teh nasteh when it went back in the (already abused, see previous post) socket. I then went outside to look for some itinerant tradesman who might be responsible for turning off the water. The only tradesmen on site were joiners and they professed total lack of responsibility. Might be because they’re fixing the mains supply up at Granton Square, they opined helpfully.

Hmmm.

I phoned Scottish Water’s Customer Helpline only to find myself listening to a recorded message about water going off in Leith last night. Finally I heard another phone number and called that. The nice lady on the other end of my phone asked for my postcode and then told me that there is a hydrant that’s being repaired and it will take 1 – 2 hours.

Fine. But here’s the thing: they just turned it off. No warning, no notice. I could have been in the shower. It’s a bloody good job we’ve got a water filter in the fridge, or I’d be forced to drink booze all afternoon (it’s important to take on plenty of fluids when you’ve got a cold) and the only booze we’ve got in the house is single malt whisky…

Update: The water supply has been restored. It’s just as well. I am in dire need of caffeination.

• 10:09 I now has a cold. Have taken tomorrow off to stay home with hot drinks and playstation. Not too sick to come to work, too sick to want to. #

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I currently have a bad head cold and concussion. The concussion is a lot better than it was…

Look. Don’t try unlocking your bike with an improperly fastened messenger bag on wet, slippery cobbles while fairly inebriated at 03:30. What happens is you land on your head and end up with a colourful black eye as the resultant internal bleeding drains down the side of your face.

It’s not glamorous and it’s not clever.

You don’t get double vision when you have concussion and only one eye. You get this weird effect that’s like a crappy webcam with a slow refresh rate.

The other thing that happens is that your distance judgement goes. I don’t have any 3D. I lack the necessary stereoscopic vision. What I’ve got is a lifetime of learning to compensate. It took me years, but eventually I figured out that I calculate distance using minute movements of my head to provide the necessary differentiation. That calculation goes right up the spout when suffering the after-effects of severe head trauma.

I’m going to be spilling things for a while.

• 11:26 Oh dear. yep. It’s about this time of morning my head starts throbbing again, no matter how many painkillers I take. #
• 16:47 Feeling sick and sore. #
• 17:19 For @mbf . I think you might like this. ♫ blip.fm/~bjxk #

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• 13:30 Twitter is eating my tweets. I has a concussion! #

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• 11:53 For @mbf , in honour of his first viewing of one of my favourite films. ♫ blip.fm/~abdb #
• 12:13 For @MarsRovers ♫ blip.fm/~abf0 #
• 12:25 I’m feeling kind’ve metallish myself, today. ♫ blip.fm/~abgf #

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