{"id":99,"date":"2008-12-24T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2008-12-24T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/?p=99"},"modified":"2008-12-24T10:00:00","modified_gmt":"2008-12-24T10:00:00","slug":"it-must-be-something-in-the-holy-water","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/2008\/12\/24\/it-must-be-something-in-the-holy-water\/","title":{"rendered":"It must be something in the (holy) water"},"content":{"rendered":"

After yesterday’s Catholic quackery, today we have another BBC report<\/a> about a member of the Church demonstrating more WTFery on a par with the Atlas of Creation<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Father Dino Bottino, the parish priest of the Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Novara, during a children’s mass earlier this month, explained that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.<\/p>\n

Child:<\/strong> Waaaaaaaaah!!! Woes!!!111!!! Noes!!!1!1!! Need Santa loss support group!
\nMother:<\/strong> WTF? Dude! You are MADE OF FAIL.
\nPriest:<\/strong> No! No! I am awesome. For Our Lord Jebus is MADE OF WIN, and the little kiddies must be told that SANTA is EBIL. He was made up, FFS. Not like Jebus! Oh, and that witch? Befana? She can fuck right off as well. LOLs.
\nBefana:<\/strong> Noes!!!1! I am MELTING!! FFS.<\/p>\n

No doubt our Father Bottino is quite happy to nod enthuiastically to renditions of “We Three Kings” and “Away In A Manger” and all the rest of those sappy carols, not one of which has any literary basis in the Bible, incidentally.<\/p>\n

I contend that we are all atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.<\/i>\n<\/p>\n

Thus spoke Stephen L. Roberts, and every time the Catholics come out with a diatribe against “false” entities the quote springs effortlessly to mind. God himself felt it necessary to state “Thou shalt worship no other god but me,” thereby tacitly admitting that there were<\/i> other gods. It’s like wilfully mistaking other things for the crown (thereby acknowledging the existence of the crown — Absolutely<\/i>, series 4, episode 4, War in Stoneybridge).<\/p>\n

Santa Claus is, of course, a modern metamorphosis of Saint Nicholas<\/a>, who is revered amongst Catholics and patron saint of Bari, in Italy, where he is supposed to be buried. So you might want to check your facts there, Father Bottino.<\/p>\n

Or, alternatively, just try removing your head from your ass. La Befana is one of those little old ladies in black. You shouldn’t mess with those. Eny fule kno that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After yesterday’s Catholic quackery, today we have another BBC report about a member of the Church demonstrating more WTFery on a par with the Atlas of Creation. Father Dino Bottino, the parish priest of the Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Novara, during a children’s mass earlier this month, explained that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. 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