{"id":14,"date":"2010-01-24T16:34:00","date_gmt":"2010-01-24T16:34:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/?p=14"},"modified":"2010-05-03T08:59:15","modified_gmt":"2010-05-03T08:59:15","slug":"it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/2010\/01\/24\/it\/","title":{"rendered":"It"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have a shameful confession to make: I am addicted to Top Model<\/a><\/i>.<\/p>\n

I spend most of my work day dealing with situations that are either technically or diplomatically complex, or both, and when I get home of an evening I don’t have the mental energy for anything other than mindless viewing. There are a few programmes on the telly that manage to provide this without causing sufficient aggravation to make me want to kick the box, which is the main problem with soaps. I don’t want angst. I don’t want human relationships. I don’t want anything that will make me cringe. People who are engaged in a competition that is marginally reliant on something resembling skill or ability, and which they think is the most important thing in the world despite it being completely pointless on a practical level, is about my level of braindead television. Project Runway<\/i> and its UK equivalent occupy a similar niche.<\/p>\n

Most of the time Frood<\/a> goes and does something constructive while I’m in a near-catatonic state of vegetation in front of this programme, however he often comes through for the final judging in which Tyra and company critique the girls.<\/p>\n

Frequently the contestants are told to “bring it” and it has exercised us, on a casual basis, to determine what this “it” is. We have been confused. What is “it”? From whence does “it” come? How big is “it”? What does “it” look like?<\/p>\n

After careful perusal of advertisements and the sort of programmes that seem to be popular, we think we have determined what “it” is.<\/p>\n

According to the Thompson’s advert it can fit in a suitcase. It can’t be overly heavy because the skinny girls on Top Model have to be capable of carrying it. According to a Ministry of Sound advert one is required to inflate it (“pump it”). It may or may not be blue.<\/p>\n

We think “it” is a one-man bouncy castle. It’s the only thing that meets all the requirements.<\/p>\n

Darling.<\/p>\n

So if you want to win a $100,000 contract with Cover Girl cosmetics, the thing to do is visit a company specialising in industrial rubber and get them to make you a bouncy castle big enough for Miss J Alexander but not so big that you can’t carry it. Remember to tell everyone not to wear high heels.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have a shameful confession to make: I am addicted to Top Model. I spend most of my work day dealing with situations that are either technically or diplomatically complex, or both, and when I get home of an evening I don’t have the mental energy for anything other than mindless viewing. There are a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31,19],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-and-finally-we-reached-the-conclusion-that","category-life-with-frood"],"yoast_head":"\nIt ~ Singularity<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/2010\/01\/24\/it\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It ~ Singularity\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I have a shameful confession to make: I am addicted to Top Model. 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