{"id":9,"date":"2010-03-24T22:25:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-24T22:25:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/?p=9"},"modified":"2010-05-02T14:29:46","modified_gmt":"2010-05-02T14:29:46","slug":"conversations-with-frood","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/2010\/03\/24\/conversations-with-frood\/","title":{"rendered":"Conversations with Frood"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ravenfamily.org\/sam\/avatars\/froodwalrus.jpg\" title=\"I have to live with this. Bless him.\" hspace=\"3\" align=\"left\" \/>&#8220;Urgh, gerroff. You&#8217;re lying on my food.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I&#8217;m not lying on your food, I&#8217;m lying on your ribcage.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And it&#8217;s pressing all my food over. I have a food baby.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You have a salad baby?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And maybe a pie baby. Because of the half a dozen mini pork and pickle pies I bought in the shop.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;YOU HAD SIX PIES?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Er&#8230; No?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No. I had one pie.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You said you had six!&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I bought six. I had one.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;What happened to the rest?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I was mugged.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;You were mugged.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes. By a bat.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;A bat?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes. It swooped down and mugged me for a pie.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;But that&#8217;s one pie.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Then I was mugged by a doggage. It swooped down too.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;A swooping doggage?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And the next pie?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I was mugged by a cathedral.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;A <i>cathedral<\/i>?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Did it swoop too?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No, it was lurking.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Okay, so that&#8217;s four pies. What about the fifth pie?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;I was mugged by a band of unruly elementary particles. They wafted in and stole it. I don&#8217;t know what sort they were because they were too small to see.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Elementary particles. Right. What about the fifth pie?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;That was han archangel.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Really. Which one? Because I&#8217;ll ask them.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;The archangel Piethief.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Are you sure you didn&#8217;t just nom all the pies yourself?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;No! I only had one pie, the pie you saw me eating. I didn&#8217;t buy half a dozen pies and schrompf them all, oh no. I was mugged. By a bat and a swooping doggage&#8230;&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;And a cathedral.&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8220;Yes.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Note that you too can share in the brain-melting world of Frood by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/froodburbles\">following him on twitter<\/a>. Good luck and be warned: it&#8217;s catching.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Urgh, gerroff. You&#8217;re lying on my food.&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m not lying on your food, I&#8217;m lying on your ribcage.&#8221; &#8220;And it&#8217;s pressing all my food over. I have a food baby.&#8221; &#8220;You have a salad baby?&#8221; &#8220;And maybe a pie baby. Because of the half a dozen mini pork and pickle pies I bought in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[19],"tags":[21,20],"class_list":["post-9","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life-with-frood","tag-burbles","tag-frood"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Conversations with Frood ~ Singularity<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/2010\/03\/24\/conversations-with-frood\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Conversations with Frood ~ Singularity\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8220;Urgh, gerroff. 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