{"id":538,"date":"2006-07-14T10:45:00","date_gmt":"2006-07-14T10:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/?p=538"},"modified":"2006-07-14T10:45:00","modified_gmt":"2006-07-14T10:45:00","slug":"too-early","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ravenfamily.org\/sam\/2006\/07\/14\/too-early\/","title":{"rendered":"Too early"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/ravenfamily.org\/sam\/avatars\/3x23.gif\" alt=\"Grump\" hspace=\"3\" align=\"left\" \/>I was in the pool at 08:00. Anyone who knows me will be shocked.<\/p>\n<p> I am <i>not<\/i> a morning person.<\/p>\n<p>However Fife Council, in their infinite wisdom, have made pool access free for all under-16s for the rest of the summer holidays. This means my lunchtime session on Wednesday was hampered by a plague of Biblical proportions. Small, squealing, slippery creatures paddled about like some Cthulhoid spawn recently hatched from a giant egg-sac, goggling eyes staring while mouths gaped vacantly, no doubt searching instinctively for some netherworld teat from which to suck all the goodness out of life, the very marrow of existence fuelling their tiny, pasty-white bodies.<\/p>\n<p>The floats on a rope will not keep spawn such as these out of the training lanes. No. Nor are they affected by the screeching whistle of the lifeguard, merely turning to stare balefully at the red-clad pool attendant who would dare interrupt them in their newly-hatched quest, scoffing at the foolish assumption that the shrill sound could possibly force them to do anything they did not wish to.<\/p>\n<p>But my training programme has been, well, programmed, so a sudden invasion of demon brats into the pool is no excuse. Thusly I found myself churning up and down <i>before work<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>I am not amused.<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately Bob thinks this is a great idea and is now cheerfully talking about maintaining my pool sessions at this time even after the brats are gone.<\/p>\n<p>How I hate him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I was in the pool at 08:00. Anyone who knows me will be shocked. I am not a morning person. However Fife Council, in their infinite wisdom, have made pool access free for all under-16s for the rest of the summer holidays. 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