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I expect the fuzzy-headed one and I might do the whole legal piece of paper thing at some point, if only for the tax benefits, but this was the one that was important to us. It took us some 7 years to get around to this wedding, even though it took us only 3 weeks to get engaged. In many ways it was simply the best reason we could think of to drag various and myriad friends over very long distances in order to have a party. We did have people travelling from other countries.

Despite our usual distaste for allowing ourselves to be trapped in a bipolar paradigm, it was obviously suitable for this sort of event. Beforehand, when I didn't know much about other pagans and was trying to sort it all out, I did wonder if perhaps the odd Wiccan amongst the guests would be offended by our use of a God and Goddess structure, given that we are almost anything but Wiccan. I was assured not. By the time I got to the ceremony itself I knew it had been a ridiculous concern and didn't really care much anyway. We used the "blessed be" because it allowed the guests to participate in some small way and in this sort of setting is actually quite nice. I'm not the monstrous anti-Wiccan that people seem to think I am.

Of course the incense was properly set up using containers and sand so that the grass would not scorch, and the libation was only a small one. We did not do any jumping of the fire or anything like that, and the bottles of ritual hooch brought along by some of the Oddbins people were ritually removed afterwards. We did have a couple of hecklers, but I don't stand for such things.

The ceremony was mainly written by myself, with Frood sticking his fuzzy head in wherever I deemed it appropriate. There are, in fact, two film quotes in this ceremony, although on a recent viewing I was able to crow at Frood that he had misquoted one of them. There is the ever-present mars bar on offer for the first person to mail me with the quotes and the films from whence they come, and an address to which I can send it. Incidentally, if you want your mars bar sent as a gift to a friend, I can do that too (no I don't know why on Earth you should want to do that, but it suddenly occurred to me that there are sufficient fruit loops out there that one of you might). It was both one of the hardest and one of the easiest ceremonies I have ever had to write. It was a one-off, never to be done again, and a very important thing for both of us, and thus had to be just right.

My only regret is that illness on the day removed my ability to remember the ceremony without a prompt. It would have been nice to do without. Oh, and if you are the American tourist taking photos without asking us first, you probably have the only decent pictures, and can we have copies?

Ingredients

Getting on for 35 guests.
3(?) bottles of wine
1 goblet big enough (supposedly) to go around
Incense and charcoal blocks

Method

Incense blocks are lit and set at the four quarters, within the circle formed by the guests.

After arriving and milling around for a bit, Sam and Frood (henceforth referred to as S&F) ask the guests to arrange themselves around the inside of the circle in a position which feels comfortable to them, leaving the entrance free. S&F take a few moments to survey the final positions and giggle a bit at what this tells them about their friends. The Gatekeeper is asked if he will be quite happy where he is and given a hug to sustain him until the cavalry arrive.

S&F enter the circle and check to make sure all are present and accounted for and that no one is there who shouldn't be. Any strangers are challenged and summarily kicked out unless there with good purpose.

Frood	"We cast no circle. Those who have gone before have left one for us, made of stone and will and history. We thank them."
Sam	"We make no banishments. All who come to the circle in friendship, those now present in spirit and flesh, all Gods, all powers, are welcome here. We thank you all for coming."
Frood	"Today is a thanksgiving, a celebration."
Sam	"We ask you here not to bear witness to a joining, but to share our happiness and joy at the partnership which has developed between us."
Frood	"We asked you here because you are our friends, old and new. Some have come from far away, while others have come from not so far. Some have come only in spirit."
Sam	"All of you are important to us. You, the memories you have given us, the friendship and support, are part of who we are. We will carry you with us always."
Frood	"You are part of today, take from it what you will, but most of all our love, our thoughts and our blessings."
S&F walk round the circle, setting incense on the burners at the four quarters. F carries the tub and S sets the incense on the block
Sam	"The incense creates a sense of ceremony. It travels up to the sky, disperses across the Earth. It carries with it our joy and our love. As all here can smell this scent, so all here can share in our love."
Frood	"We ask that the Gods and the Great Mother bless us with continuing love, so that our regard for one another may grow, and that we may share that love with those that share our lives and especially with each other."
F then All:	Blessed be
Sam	"I ask now for Goddess to come down, as Aphrodite, desirous one, who kindles the flame in the hearts of men. I ask her to bless me with the power to fan the flame of desire I have kindled in this man's heart. Yet this place is a place of the Crone. She dwells here, and I ask her to bless this union with the wisdom and strength of the ages, that we may have that which we need to keep the fire burning."
S places a small amount of incense on the 5th burner in the circle centre.
S then All:	Blessed be
Frood	"I ask now for God to come down, as Herne, horned one, whose strength has endured throughout the ages. I ask him to bless me with the strength to take this passion, this flame, to carry it with me, and to return it to this woman with its intensity heightened. This is also a place of the Dragon, the Initiator, and I ask that he bless this union so that each day its fire is fed and grows as if it were the first day."
F puts another small amount of incense on the same burner as S.
F then All:	Blessed be.
Frood	"My Lady, you have been my sun, my moon, my shining stars. You have brought me courage and love, true love. You have kindled my desire and fired my passion. For all these reasons and thousands more I wed thee. I wed thee by will, with strength, with courage and with passion. I wed thee with love."
Sam	"My Lord, you have been my rock, my strength, my safe haven in times of storm. You have brought me comfort and true friendship. You have kindled my desire and fired my passion. For all these reasons and thousands more I wed thee. I wed thee by will, with knowledge, with wisdom, and with desire. I wed thee with love."
F picks up the wine and holds it up.
Frood	"We consecrate this wine in the names of God and Goddess."
Sam	"We bless this wine and make it sacred to our union."
S then all:	Blessed be.
Wine is poured into the goblet. Whoever pours the wine then offers it first to the other, and then takes a sip.
Sam	"As this cup brims with wine, so we are brimming with love and kinship. We share that symbolically in our drinking of the same cup, and we ask now that you too share it by also drinking of this cup."
Frood	"As you sip, as the taste of the wine lingers, know too that our friendship will last far longer than any wine lingers on the tongue. We ask you to share this drink with us, and hope that you will treasure this day just as we will."
The wine is taken round, ESWNE (all the way round from the entrance).
Frood	"And thus we are wed."
Sam	"Not by oath, nor promise, nor obligation."
Frood	"But by will, by passion, by desire and love."
Sam	"We ask the Gods for their blessing, but it is by our will alone that we have forged this union, and our will alone that will sustain it."

A kiss is shared, the circle is broken and it's off to the bar. Guests file out first, past S&F standing in the entrance, leaving S&F to thank the spirits of the circle and the Gods for their presence, and to pick up the bits and pieces. A small amount of wine is left in the goblet for the Gatekeeper so he can share it all.

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