Symptom Diary

07/02/2000 - 07/08/2000
07/09/2000 - 07/15/2000
07/16/2000 - 07/22/2000
07/23/2000 - 07/29/2000
07/30/2000 - 08/05/2000
08/06/2000 - 08/12/2000
08/13/2000 - 08/19/2000
08/20/2000 - 08/26/2000
08/27/2000 - 09/02/2000
09/10/2000 - 09/16/2000
09/17/2000 - 09/23/2000
09/24/2000 - 09/30/2000
11/19/2000 - 11/25/2000
11/26/2000 - 12/02/2000
12/10/2000 - 12/16/2000

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Friday, August 4, 2000

11:05  Pain has been getting steadily worse over past couple of days. It spreads. On the not so bad days it is mainly confined to specific areas. Today everything hurts, and hurts badly. I am very nauseous. My vision is cloudy and I am shaking. It is incredibly painful along the inside line of my lower jaw, and sometimes feels as though the holes where my teeth sit are aching. My skin condition is poor again. Being covered in insect bites from work isn't helping. I have been getting very dehydrated during the night, and very hot. Have beensleeping naked with no covers for the first time, even though it's not hot enough for Marko to do that, and have been drinking pints of water during the night. Sleep has been poor, very disturbed, many dreams, waking up lots. Fragments come back to me frequently during the day, but not enough to remember.

Feel like crying today, all day, simply because the pain is so bad. We're going to Herefordshire this afternoon for a weekend away.

 

Tuesday, August 1, 2000

23:38  Pain and nausea very bad today. Right up there at 8 or 9 on the scale. Gym session, done in the hope that it might help, appalling. Had to quit. Almost vomited in the gym. Strange rash on inside of my left arm, looks like scratches. Was there when I woke up. Depression bad today, shivery and weepy. Have been interacting with people from a distance. Not one of them could tell how I was feeling inside. But I went to work, did the day, got through it. Today it is hard to see how I can keep doing this. Emotions erratic and powerful.

Trapped by illness, can't get out. Frustrating. Need to eat, hurts so much I feel sick, have no appetite. Haven't eaten properly in a couple of days now. Still having hot flushes, periods of extraordinary synaesthesia. Brain fog bad today also, memory problems, communication problems. Words take so much effort to articulate, to dredge from the depths of the brain to the lips.

Feeling anti-social, intensely irritable. Angry over the slightest things. So much stress. Everything seems like too much.

 

Monday, July 31, 2000

09:53  Pain bad this morning. been sick already. feels like someone peeling off my skin. Hot, panicking now, weeping. Like being drenched in acid. Slightest thing making me panic, have no control. Very scared. Noises too loud, muscles tight and tightening round base of skull, cramping in back, ribs. Tongue swollen and split. Feet hurt, can't breathe properly.

Bad nightmares last night.

11:22  Crying now for two hours. Pain getting worse, more severe in torso, back. Losing comprehension. Losing context. Desperate. No one to talk to, turn to, everyone busy. Should be at work, cant see properly, cant breathe. Breathe short, gasping, when I can breathe. not entirely hyperventilation.

I'm so very scared and dont know what to do to get through this.

13:24  Pain rating:

Equal to broken bone. Only everywhere. Specially left arm, hand. but harder to deal with.

Objectively: broken bone. Subjectively: too much to stand.

13:37  worse than broken bone. all-over migraine.

 

Sunday, July 30, 2000

11:43  Pain is bad today. Everywhere. Weak and sore and aching, but I was good yesterday, no gym ache at all. More bad dreams, slept badly. Tired and clingy and weepy. Vision hurts - it hurts to look at things, as if the light is putting too much pressure on my eyes. Feel quite dehydrated also. Have been having severe abdominal cramps.

23:11  Pain bad now. lucidity going. Very hard to think, write. Everything seizing. Such pressure in my head my ears hurt, my eyes feel about to burst. Ribs, back, legs. Arms ache. Lungs hurt, chest. Vision blurry and eyes smart. Very hot, flushes. Synaethesia not yet, hungry but nauseous. Shaking, trembling rather, not shake. Quivering. Tearful and clingy and missing people who are here. Homesick feelings.

Too hard to write this now.