16:09 
Incidentally, I had a really weird dream last night about being in this hut in some woods, miles from anywhere, and discovering that the two brothers who owned the place had killed a woman and had her dead body, slowly desiccating, in the back room. I remember the texture of her skin and her hair and everything. She was wearing this floral print dress - old fashioned, in a way. It was the sort of thing I could imagine a 50s housewife wearing, but I got the impression she was once attractive. The flowers were very small, the background colour a faded brown.
Can't remember why we were there, but I do remember being very keen to get away, and having some difficulty in doing so, which meant that someone had to come out and get us. Just as that happened, the two brothers came back, still being as nice as pie - at least until they realised we had found their other guest. The quiet one out back.
There was something about some big function or conference at a university too, at which there were a lot of familiar faces from the world of weird.
15:56
A word about fitness...
I've been forgetting, recently, that my gym regimen is not just aimed at getting myself fit. I can't get superfit right now. I have fibromyalgia. I have some sort of illness that ends up causing me all sorts of problems.
Being the perfectionist I am, I have been looking at the gym programmes being followed by friends and feeling inadequate. But I know how stupid that is. It's not like I'm there, in the gym with them, watching what they are doing and thus being able to compare it accurately with what I do. Also, that's not why I'm there. I'm in the gym largely because going to the gym helps me stay on top of the FMS.
Now, recently I have been experimenting with once a week sessions, because that seems to give me the most gain. But that's physical gain, and I'm discovering that for one, I get more jittery and restless and a little bit unstable, and for two, it's far more difficult to find the motivation to get up and go to the gym. Not actually do the work out, just get there. Especially when the weather is crap and you refuse to take the car because it's only 2 and a half miles.
So, I'm going to move back up to 3 or 4 times a week, because that's the amount I was doing when I felt best in myself. It might not be the best for fitness gains, but it made me feel better in general, and that's my main reason for going. I have to keep reminding myself of that - the fitness is a bonus, not my main concern at present. The reason I'm going is to find that place where the FMS is just part of my life, and not a particularly significant one at that, not a controlling factor. That also means that I have to stop getting wound up over the gains other people are making and what other people are doing, and try to concentrate on my main goal, not theirs.
I've been down the route of over-training. I've been down the route of under-training. I think I know where my happy medium lies, and that is in a moderate amount of cardio-vascular work, with weights to keep me feeling good about myself. That might change - come the warm weather I certainly intend to get out on my bike more. If I get this job I may even treat myself to a lightweight tourer or racer for commuting in a hilly landscape.
But I have to be careful, and keep reminding myself, why I am doing this. And if I don't feel good for exercising, if working out actually makes me feel worse rather than better, then even if I'm making the gains that others are making, it's no damn good.
So. Tomorrow, go when Frood is out. Enjoy the weekend, with all the frivolity, then get back into the swing of things next week in the knowledge that once a week might mean I get stronger faster but I feel crap, and more than 4 times a week is just too tiring.