. . . .then we'll begin. . . .

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Wednesday, January 30, 2002

 
Here is a short list of Saints of the confusion that you will not yet be aware of an' are totally unimportant .

Saint Belly Button Fluff , patron saint of fleas and the colour green .
Saint Crumhorn , patron saint of sticky up fings .
Saint Babbage , patron saint of floppy fings 'n' coats .
Saint Pigs In Space , patron saint of pigs in space .
Saint Polydactyl , patron saint of trifle an' sewage treatment works .
Saint Cor Lummie Guv , patron saint of sperm .
Saint He's Behind You! , patron saint of muggers 'n' tea shops .
Saint Hyperbole , patron saint of patron saints .
Saint Larry The Lamb , patron saint of cows and chewy fings .
Saint Bagpuss , patron saint of all things that are not saggy , old , made of cloth , a bit loose at the seams or loved .
5:51:59 PM

 
Now , the most non sacred annimal of stairianism be the moon bunny . This be 'cos just loike many pagans they tend to be at stone cirkles an' the loike on nites of and around the full of da moon . It is generraly only possible to see them if U kno the propper artikles and rituals of summonin' . Even if you don't see 'em dey are still there an' even if ya do see 'em then it be only as a silky shado sneakin' akross the surface of the stones . Many Toimes hav I been seein' dem at the Rollright Stones . This be wear I first saw dem an' I rekkon dat it be a major breedin' ground for da little buggas . Butt be worned , never invoke ye the Midnite moon bunny for he be most powerful of the moon folk an' as such be verry busy an' loike to get narked if you bover 'im without good reason or raisins in yore pockets . Yea a pocket full of dried fruit ( speshelly rasins ) be the only defense 'gainst a put out member of the moon folk . Gird not thy loins with jam for thee will kum to a stiky end by moon bunnies will . Amen .

To Summon da moon bunny ( Artikles 'n' rituals by Saint Baggy Trousers )

Skatter ye not of the dried fruit ye carry nor of any other fing upon the ground in representation of cirkle , ward or arkane device . 'Stead under cover of silvry moon lite approach ye a stone or surface suitable of purpose, moon bunny for the summonin' of . Wiv moon astride thy sinister shoulder . Then crouch ye sinister hand in dexter fruit filled pocket , dexter arm extended wiv hand curled in da mystic forth sign of starianism an' recite .

By silvery moon 'n' fruit filled pocket
Descend moon bunny by mystik rocket
A mystik rocket of moon beams fair
So come down here from way up there

I abjure thee bunny of shadowy nite
upon this stone here too alite
Thy umbran grace for all to see
That a bunny of the moon is reality

Dance moon bunny in silouett
For you are free and no ones pet
Wiv twitchy nose and wiggly ears
watcher of the nite and keeper of fears

Moon bunny moon bunny fly away home
I have not the power to bind thee to stone
return at once through the shimmering sky
To the warren of the moon where you never will die
6:38:26 PM